i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
