U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize