What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
