No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
