let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I skipped work to stalk him.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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