just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm too high and old for this...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
