We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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