addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
