just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
