Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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