East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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