drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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