remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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