I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
