Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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