I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I look better un-naked...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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