she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm really busy with my period
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