Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
