dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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