why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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