Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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