My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
