i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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