You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
