It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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