New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
