Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
