pop tarts are not kleenex
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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