why didn't you poke me back
She announced her abortion via fbk
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
