i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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