I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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