I wanna bring you to show and tell
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
