its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
