Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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