Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
