I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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