Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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