her vagine was all disorganized.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
