brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
