Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
