He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
