Having a random hookup so left but love u
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
