its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just gift wrapped bread.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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