Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
