Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
