I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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