I wish I could teleport
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
