At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
false alarm, still single
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
