I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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