nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
