i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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