He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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