just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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