Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
