A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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