some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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