Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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