Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
