I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
