I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
