at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
