Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
