why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
