Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize