Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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