i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
