I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
