Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
