with your own penis?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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