Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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