we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize