It was confusing and full of hummus
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
