went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am spending my child support on dildos
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
